BE CARE FREE. BE HAPPY.

I'm done stressing the unevitable; done sweating the impossible. THE BEST THING I EVER DID was giving a situation MY ALL....because in result, THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED was getting nothing much in return....so that THE BEST THING THAT I COULD EVER REALIZE was: WHEN YOU GIVE IT YOUR ALL....you can FINALLY-FINALLY relax and be CAREFREE. WHY? because NOW you have NOTHING, really, left to lose. Don't let the same disapointments phase you. I soon discovered that I can find a reason to be happy each and everyday. Theres' neverending ways to put a smile on my face....and guess what? I can do it...all....on....my own. & If I CAN THAN ANYBODY CAN =]

Chaotic, argumental, bickering, depressing, stressing- NORMAL relationships can make you jaded, cynical and bitter. Here I was trying to hide a frown behind a smile and boy, was I great at it. Here I was, driving down Bandera rd, once again, gasping my breath because something so simple can be so overwhelming. The seven minute drive home suddenly feels like a long agonizing roadtrip from hell...am i overexaggerating? maybe...Was I happy? Not really. So why stay in a relationship that makes you so sad? Are the happy moments really worth your while? We all know the answer...because ***drum roll please*** boom boom boom** ........LOVE. I perfer to call it "Emotional Attatchment" but call it what you like...call it hell or call it heaven...whatever it is..It is blurring your sense of judgement...and although this is a very general topic...Lets say "Blurring MY sense of judgement" shall we? One year of the same thing is DISCOURAGING....My relationship of 3 years...ha...THREE YEARS of the same thing...DISCOURAGING. So if your gonna stick around regardless than here's a tip: STOP CARING! STOP TRYING. STOP CRYING. STOP MOPING....Now resort to all of this once you've cared enough, tried enough, cried enough and moped enough and saw ZERO RESULT from it. (nobody but your friends and family are gonna care that your crying) Make sure you put in the effort atleast a JILLION times before you take my hint. lol, okay I take that back, 3 times at the max. Cause lets get a load of reality??? At some point in your disasterous relationship...your gonna come to either one of two conclusions. ONE, your bf/gf is never gonna change AND your not gonna waste any more time...or TWO, your bf/gf is never gonna change but you STILL don't wanna live without them.(we know its hard.) If you chose ONE,,than YAAAAAYYY!!!!!! WEEEE!!! Great pick! You are a soilder at heart!!! ...However...many of us pick TWO haha...So if you picked TWO....you obviously UNDERSTAND in full comprehension that NOTHING's gonna change. To pick TWO, you have accepted that nothing will change...yet you don't believe in yourself enough to move on.., You don't believe you should walk away from the person you love. Alright fair enough. Stop initiating arguments...your stressing yourself for no reason when YOU SHOULD KNOW the answer(or result) is NO. He/she may not be straight up about it but NO is the answer....THEY WONT CHANGE. So why stress and argue? Just leave it be. Might as well enjoy yourself. My point is.....if you can make YOURSELF HAPPY, you won't be so hungry as to depend on some unchangable factor. I was all about being single, independent and confident. Always...and for the tested time being of being in this mess...I simply forgot. The good news is....you can't run away from who you are...never...and here I AM!! The same ol' hypothesizing young lady!!! ^_^ I'm happy now. Let me tell you that things are not at all right or the way I'd like...but I'm happy. Not with the let downs but with myself. I highly DON'T reccomend that things be this way but if you're not gonna leave and he/she is not gonna change..than what else do you suggest? You may not believe in yourself...but I do. I've seen it. I've seen miracles like that. =] and it brings peace to me. I hope with all my heart that most of us would have the strength and courage to pick choice ONE....I DO PRAY FOR SUCH A THING.

heres a tip: If you do ever get out of THE MESS of a relationship your in TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT!!!!! ....Don't ever go for Round 2. Don't meet a guy with 10 characterstics you HATE and a few puny charactersistics that you adore. Don't repeat mistakes.
DON'T DIG A HOLE SO DEEP THAT YOU CANT CLIMB OUT.


ANYWAYS...the other day I had a very productive shoot with Lucas Brilliot. Here is an image from the shoot. MORE TO COME. (along with the one above^^^)